I struggle with how to improve not only my own handling of conflict but how to persuade others to use tried and tested conflict methods like interest based bargaining. Here are some thoughts on over-coming our resistance to improved conflict handling:
- More reflexive: thinking about our conflict thinking
- Less pattern recognition: don’t just jump to the first impression of the conflict situation
- Less conflict denial: know when we are in conflict and don’t run from it
- Mindfully handling internal conflict: the most disturbing form of conflict is internal and we often project it outwards instead of facing it
- Learning to see the reality beyond our lenses of situations: seeing our own lenses for what they are is a big step forward: the map is not the territory
- Understanding our long term interests clearly: not just our positions in the conflict we have jumped to without much thought
- Empathetically listening to and trying to understand the other side’s interests without letting go of our own interests
- Seeing conflict as creative: expanding the range of options we consider using the question ‘what if?’
- Coming to see both sides in the conflict at the same time: thinking stereoscopically
- Learning from the experience of conflict, from our mistakes by asking what went well, what not so well and what we would do differently next time in conflict
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